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After SPM, for the most part it's either you know damn vivid where you see yourself in the future in or out of study, or maybe you already have the choices set up and just needed some extra thoughts to decide, or you're probably still blank and simply yolo-ing... Either one still sounds pretty normal.

Last year, I really wanted to take up Diploma for some reason (mostly bcos my mum urged me to). A little late during UPU application was when I decided that IT would be my go-to course. It was seriously hard to decide since I'm a pure science student and have no basic IT. On the other hand, many of my friends ended up being either in Form 6, foundation (asasi) or even mariculation (matriks). My thoughts when I knew less to none of them are taking diploma like me, it took me some time to ensure my own self that I was making the right choice.

A year later is when I truly regret nothing about it. My SPM results were decent - 5As, and no UiTM was chosen for my UPU form. Reason being is that I don't wanna sound racist, but moving onto a place of only having one ethnicity - Malays, sounded pretty dull to me. And tbh, I see UiTM lower than any other public universities (IPTA) but at the same time higher considering the many campuses they have nationwide. So yeah UiTM sounded meh to me.

Now, I didn't mind living apart from my family, but it helps that I am living only 2 states away. This would be something you gotta consider in a long run bcos things are just gonna be more convenient sometimes yknow. Me as I'm typing this on a non-holiday weekend in my bedroom... And you probably wanna ask yourself, would you prefer the same school-like settings or a different more adult-ish settings? This could aid in making that decision if you're thinking of going to college or university.

Now, mindsets. Many is still unaware of the good thing about being in Diploma. Correct me if I'm wrong, but people presume diploma kids are dumb. At least worse than the other options. I think simply bcos it takes up 3 years to be done with. Compared to foundation, matrics or STPM, which takes up max 2 years. But keep this in mind, when you take diploma (the same goes for polytechnic is what I've heard of), there's credit transfer. That means some credit hours during your 3 years will be transferred when you pursue degree. And this will save up possibly 2 years of your time. As soon as you enter degree, you can move up being a 2nd year instead of the 1st unlike the rest of the new batch. In the end of the day, doesn't matter where you start, it would still at least take 5 or 6 years to complete degree INCLUDING whatever course you take before you apply for degree. Simply said, sama je.

Since diploma courses are much more in-depth and covers a lot more, it's great for those who wanted to have their options open to see which major would suits you best in degree. Learning more would help it better in deciding the best career path. And I've heard sooo much that the things you learnt in foundation, matrics or STPM covers a minority part of your degree later on. What you've been taught there is basically the surface of what degree actually is. I've also heard that you would barely make use of the things you cramped up for a year or two in all the other options during degree. So, might as well take time to learn the actual core of your course to have a better insight of it like what diploma does.

Besides, diploma is considered a very chill course. There's plenty of free time to manage so you can always go thorough with your study materials whenever you feel like it. But don't expect to stay rajin all the time la haa. The timetable for me personally, have plenty of free time. This would differ depending on your course but diploma in IT doesn't have that much of hardcore subjects (yet...maybe?) and they're still manageable, if you ask me. It's also a fun course bcos you'd learn all kinds of coding that you would deal with all the time on your computer. Not to mention complicated too.


All in all, I hope this post isn't biased. Jk, it is so biased that I'm like tryna brainwash all of ya'll minds right now hahah.


Dropping by,
Melynn.
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Yes I'm mad,
At how you're mad at me,
For you expected me to say,
When I'm expecting you to ask,
How thoughtless I could've been,
If I only come begging to you first.

It has been since forever that phrases like "Don't let others define you" or "No one else should matter" had been flooding our mindsets. But I hate it. I simply hate how much I still doubt the truth of it no matter how hard I try to deny. Believe it or not, some part of us still stubbornly wants to listen to others. Care for what they say more than our own words. I say this bcos.... same.

You are my only resource,
Everything I have is from what you gave,
How much I eat,
Doesn't depend on what I crave.

Have you ever been in a situation where you tried so hard to keep yourself tight on a budget while waiting for your next allowance, but the money just doesn't come? Well... I have. At first I felt bad for asking, so I kept it silent and endure it just a little longer. For awhile, I refused whenever my friends ask to hang out. I give all sorts of excuses just so that it doesn't seem like I couldn't afford but only bcos I didn't want to. I wish I didn't have to. 

Til when I know that if I didn't bring it up, this will just never get resolved. But when I called up to ask, it made me seem like a useless child to only call for money. I never used to phone call anyone. Unless it's for a reason, but the reason will always makes me seem like the thoughtless person. No matter how hard I think, it's my rights. Weekly allowances should only last me a week... no? 

I restrained,
I refrained,
This ain't longer about what I wanted,
My needs also felt like they're being affected,
I've been very considerate,
Even when no one ever do the same,
Is this really how things are gonna change?


Dropping by,
Melynn.
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Let me be honest here,
I'm not too fond of having you as my lecturer, 
I cursed at you more than I usually do,
I said mean things behind your back,
The fact is I admit all what I've done,
But never once I'd like to take it all back,
It's really is wrong,
What you did were all wrong.

You came late without any apology,
You've been cancelling classes on the spot too frequently,
You love last minute things and never once felt sorry,
We all know and get it that you're busy,
Even more aware of your irresponsibility,
But you should take your students more seriously,
Some are eager to learn and gain something out of you,
How could we possibly do when you yourself don't even want to?

By far, you never show any better side to be praised,
Don't you ever wanna be respected?
If all you do is slack,
Don't even dream of getting that respect or even any raise (tbh),
Try to at least explain yourself,
Though I think it would simply be worthless,
All there are the lies you piled up,
And the excuses you 'inevitably' made up.

I'm sorry ahead of time for all that I said,
Truthfully, your teachings aren't really bad,
If only you could work on that selfish act,
Have a little bit of self-reflect and some guilt will do, 
I'm sure less sin will be placed upon us two.


A poem about the things I wish my lecturer knew. What a headache he's been given me.


Dropping by,
Melynn.
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Has the thought ever occur,
That behind every little whine,
Every ungratefulness or dissatisfaction,
All that we find somewhat burdensome,
Supposedly someone out there,
Is craving for the matter we plead to disown.

A slight change for them,
Could opt for a wider smile,
Thinking what we had may not be what we want,
We're hoping for what's more to come,
Until we realise the goodness that's been seeping along,
Hidden in every sigh that ever formed,
Every 'ugh' and all the 'ahh',
Doesn't necessarily end in misery,
Should we remain focus on every positivity.

There's nothing wrong with expressing your mind,
Saying what you like isn't a despicable sign,
If a little birdy fly over and speak its mind,
Hear them and possibly with all ears lended,
Imagine being in someone else's shoe,
Understanding and reliving in others point of view,
When it gets harder to relate the matters personally,
Is when you gotta start accepting your own reality,
That it's not only you who got some issue,
Others may even feeling it worse, who could possibly knew?


A poem of a friend wishing for something I've been complaining about. I should really feel more grateful.


Dropping by,
Melynn.

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Out of all the many activities held by the one-and-only club that I'm in, I finally have a reason to bring my friends along! I get to invite the boys as well, since it was a hiking event and I could claim it as generally men's interest. With the initial intention of bringing all 5 of my friends along, only 3 of of them were actually able to make it. My 2 wingmen weren't there - Nurin and Ikha - so that was kinda a bummer. Nevertheless, Arep, Yumi and Zarep were still able to join me!!

The hike takes place at Broga Hill in Semenyih, Selangor (a.k.a near the Negeri Sembilan border). We started our day so early I couldn't even believe I'm still awake and start typing this post within the same day. We gathered at 1am this morning for a 4am hike across-the-state (note that I'm currently studying in Melaka). SO DAMN EARLY WEHH!

It was a little late after 1am when Yumi and I leave our rooms. As we were walking towards the gathering area, I gotta admit that all our timing matches sooo well... because on that exact same time, I can see Arep and Zarep passed-us-by with their bike (bcos this is an event organised by my residential college not theirs, so they basically need a bike to get here). 


This was on Zarep's instastory though haha

In the bus, we sat on a 'front-and-back sitting' with the boys being in front of Yumi and I. The boys leaned their seat back to sleep so it was really cramped up for us girls, but really nice for them... Twas very gentlemen, guys. Anyway we were pretty close so it feels cozy anyhow. I didn't really keep track of the time but we left somewhat on time from destination to destination. I think we left at around 2am then reached Broga at about 4am. 

Upon reaching Broga, it was pouring so we had to wait for it to stop. We just stayed in the bus the whole time. I heard the people in-charge questioning, whether we should go on with the plan to hike since the track would be slippery and such... I was really worried it didn't turn out as planned. I mean, malu la dah ajak kawan pastu plan cancel like we're all there dah yknow. But it didn't take that long for the sky to clear up, thankfully. The first thing that surprised me was the fact there was an entrance fee of RM1 per head (I mean bukan dulu free je ke hmm), but the parking was free (for anyone who brought a car). I wanted to use the toilet but after hearing the toilet fee, sedut balik apa nak dihajatkan tadi. It costed a buck! RM1 for a toilet, WHY SO MAHAL?! "Jadi coklat kot taik bila buang kat sana", says one budak yang tak sayang mulut.

I brought a torchlight knowing we'll hike in the dark but my friends all didn't. We started out with Zarep being in front then me and then the couple (Arep and Yumi) at the back. We climbed up to the entrance in one group but we somewhat got separated by the 'stairs' part cos it was very steep for Yumi. I tried keeping up with Zarep like omg this dude kann, tak bawak torchlight pun laju dia mak aii. He was running his way up non-stop that when I finally see him sitting I was like "Akhirnya, ingatkan tak nak stop tadi!" with a loooong sigh after. My leg muscles were so stretched from it that I was so worried I'll get sudden cramps while hiking. Alhamdulillah I didn't end up with any.

In the end, Zarep and I reached the 2nd peak first ahead of the couple. We got there at 6am, I think. We gathered around for awhile before Yumi and Arep finally arrived at around 6.30am. Everyone prayed Subuh there. Then we went on with our little photoshoot session. Since it rained before, the sky was very foggy. There wasn't any view. Around 7.30am, we finally got a glimpse of the hills. Then we lepak up there for a solid 2 hours or so, bcos some of the others wanted to hike up to the 3rd platform. 

Look at the hills wooo

The only time I look decent with the view is when everyone else isn't -_-



So many kelkatu was flying around it was seriously uncomfortable. I'm cringing when even picturing the whole scene again.

The view was nice and the accompany was nice too. When we were finally heading back down, I just realised that our way up wasn't the same as the one I hiked before. This is my second trip to Broga, I went with my family before so I had few experiences here. However, our way down was much more familiar to me since it was the same trail as my first hike at Broga. Surprisingly, it is the same for Zarep too.

My friends are so childish, gosh. They were running and jumping all the way down... I feel like a worried mum. But I joined them when I figured it is safe enough (and when no one else was around so we can run further ahead without distraction of having to avoid), cos I didn't wanna get left behind. I had my first slip while running though hahaha. Thank God, Arep was right behind me and that he managed to grab my arm so I wouldn't have to fall on my butt.

That was it for my hiking trip.

---------------------------------------


But the day didn't end just yet. 


We also went to Sungai Tekala for a quick bath. Yumi and I didn't plan to get wet in the water but we eventually did. The flow was very deras and the water was really clean. There was one long branch stuck in between two large stones above the water. Arep and Zarep were clinging onto it and playing around like legit monkeys. 
For me, I was so insecure to try it bcos 
1. I'm a hijabi getting wet like what would people see, you get me? 
2. I'm short af that not even half of my body could reach the water lol, so most part of my body is still visible 
3. I wear a shawl. The kind where it gets short on one end while remains long on the other.....

All in all, that's my struggle right there. But I tried doing it once after getting convinced. If I could, I would go all out and dive in like nobody's business. But you know, everything has its limits whether you like it or not. So, moderation is the key. Dapat berendam pun kira puas jugak la. 

Sorry, but it was hard carrying a charging phone at the sungai so that explains why there's no picture of us there.

We bought some kuih to eat in the bus and we went home right after. Well, the bus did stopped at R&R Branang but nothing much was there so none of us ate proper lunch. And thus, we reached back at 4pm to end our journey... Yay! 

Everything was well-planned and turned out great. All the sudden back-outs, the rain, the hang outs, it all came with hikmah. The only sad thing was the lacking of nice pics lol. Anyhow, everything was great. To more hang-outs with them and Nurin and Ikha in the future!!

The trip fee was RM5 only and plus the entrance fee all we didn't spend that much... so money wise, it's really convenient too heheh me definitely likey.


Dropping  by,
Melynn.
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I am judging you so bad right now I wish you'd know,
Putting up with you could be better if it wasn't a one man show,
Your ego is never ending don't even blame me for being so negative,
You're not even on your PMS, you just being plain mean,
If you still is clueless it's because you are simply being selfish.

When I appreciate every penny doesn't mean I am poor,
I savour all my allowance for I care for my parents' endeavour,
I split the bills fair and square but you said I am very "berkira",
50 cents might mean nothing to you but to me, it could mean a different dinner,
I put up with quiet mornings when usually I'd jammed to some cheery musics,
You put your mood first above everyone else's and your opinions more than others,
Within 2 days, you snapped at me thrice for trying to be concern,
I feel like flipping out but I believe Allah is testing the both of us.

I can tell when you are annoyed and I know when you don't wanna be disturbed,
You are making things awkward yourself by posting all those devastating words,
You call up your sisters and being all the lovable child that you are,
Then when you face me it's like I'm not even there,
It bothers me that you're sensitive to everything,
It bothers me that you are very fragile,
It bothers me so much I don't even wanna layan. 

Not even exaggerating but tell me if I'm wrong,
Other than family, your boy would come next,
Me... I don't even come close to having a place in your life,
I consider this as a passing wind,
If you wanna be cared, never choose who you care to please,
Because if you do, sorry but I won't stay to back you up,
I am not the kind to feel terasa but you made me feel so annoyed,
I have no choice but to kept it silence for now,
But I'm just afraid this wouldn't last me for long...


A poem about the annoyance felt towards a friend. The feeling I don't intend to share more.


Dropping by,
Melynn.
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People say "all that happens, comes for a reason" and I've always believe in that no matter how good or bad things happen to be. Sometimes we forget that He is trying to remind us about the mortal life. And that we shouldn't depend on other beings but to Him, and only Him, shall we give-up our lives to.

I am such a forgetful human being. Sometimes I think it's normal but sometimes I feel like I might be having some sort of disorder because of it (hopefully I don't lol). But with everything I remember and all that I forget - whether intentionally or not, I realised that this truly is a blessing. It has always been. 

We remember things that makes a huge impact on our lives. We would want to keep the nice memories... I mean, who would want to live with the dark ones? Whether we realise it or not, dark and the bad ones are what usually shape us up into the being we are now. Being looked down at, being criticized, being overly-protected, being lonely and sad... Those are all the things we fear and thus, we re-adapted ourselves in order for us to cross over those barriers. At times, it can be for yourself but other times, for the sake of others. Believe me when I say, you can never feel good about it unless it is for the One and Only. 

If I forget the things I wanted to remember, it can either mean I should probably get a pen and a paper next time (duhh...), but it can also mean that those are the things that will not be any help for me in the future. But it's nice to cherish all the good times we think we had. Well for me, that's what cameras and social medias are for. To contain all the memory we can't afford to remember.

Now if I remember all the bad things I don't wanna remember, it might mean that He wants me to know. He wants me to acknowledge what happened. It's as if He was saying "It's a life lesson, you gotta learn well from it". And this my friend, aren't burdens... They are tests. Test to show you the bigger picture, such as the things you'll face in the future. So if things are hard to forget, cry to Him. Plead him to show you what wrong you may have committed. InsyaAllah you will realise... There is always a rainbow after a stormy day. There is always a good thing for what you think 'ended bad'. And know that, He will never leave you the closer and tighter you try to get to Him...


That's all for now. Here's just a little self-comfort for myself. I wish you will also think good of Him. Cos no one can ever compare to His mercy.


Dropping by,
Melynn.
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You're not her because,
You have a mama and a papa,
She has a mummy and a daddy,
You have 2 brothers from the same tummy,
She has neither of them biologically,
You simply can't afford branded good,
When she is well-fed with such scrumptious food,
You win over your lusts,
She lose over those shoes,
You go to a public U,
She's out there at a different avenue.


She's not you because,
She doesn't struggle financially,
When you save up for future difficulty,
She has nice-looking physique,
When you could only depend on your characteristic,
She mingle with the rich kids,
You mingle with loyal peeps,
She is only famous on social media,
You are famous for being who you truly are.


Don't let it get to you,
And question what's in it for you,
Train yourself to be moderate,
Don't go around spreading hate,
Hate on yourself,
Hate on the things you fear,
Realise and accept that now,
Because you are just not her.


A poem on staying grounded and appreciating every penny and love.

Dropping by,
Melynn.
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It's weird,
Knowing someone better by the day,
Not feeling even the slightest hate,
Though the annoyance is inevitable,
The charms shines more than the look,
The action speaks more than the words.


Could you please,
Not be so mean and harsh,
And at times, simply sweet and soft,
Not be so damn secretive,
And at times, just a little too talkative,
Not crack such lame jokes,
And at times, turning yourself as the joke.


Life is a series of mission,
We aren't graded but tested,
Innocent and gullible,
2 characters that made me seemed trustworthy,
Though I've been physically deceived,
I'm still enjoying this journey,
Exploring the heart and mind of a Scorpio baby.


This poem is written in the midst of me being happy in the morning, angry in the evening and pissed-turned-pleased the next day.

Dropping by,
Melynn.
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I may look strong,
And I may look intelligent,
I may look rich,
And I may look carefree,
Though I am blessed for what you see,
It ain't actually the real me.

Even I do things,
I never see myself do,
Feeling like a loser that I am,
Both in faith and within my head,
I've tried to understand you,
Show me even the slightest that you've tried too,
I'm insecure of how I'm raised,
The fact I lived such a different phase,
Sometimes fitting in can be quite tough,
Either silence or fight will be the way to solve.

You describe to me as if I am clueless,
You never asked how much I've already learned,
You all assumed I'm empty minded,
When you should know I'm just not that quick-witted,
Tell me why shouldn't I feel terrible,
When you neglected every time I blurted.

It hurts when you hit,
For you are feeling mad,
It hurts when you talk,
In the language I don't quite get,
It hurts when you naturally get along,
When for me I barely manage sitting silent for long,
It made me self-pity,
It made my pillow wet,
Those are the secrets I hid,
And I don't want you to feel bad.

I might seem like I tell everything to you,
I might seem a little see-through,
I might seem emotionally capable,
But please don't believe me whenever I do,
I don't show but I feel,
I am hurt yet I'm happy,
I laugh when it's not that funny,
Probably I'm just in a little confusion,
Not a case of some kind of a depression,
I just need to let you know,
Even when I forgive,
Your understanding is what I seek.


Dropping by,
Melynn.
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About me


Aye! The name's Amelynn.

98 liner and a sucker for kpop & kdramas. I write as I think. Hope you're able to gain something from me ❤️️

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