Yes I'm mad,

At how you're mad at me,

For you expected me to say,

When I'm expecting you to ask,

How thoughtless I could've been,

If I only come begging to you first.

It has been since forever that phrases like "Don't let others define you" or "No one else should matter" had been flooding our mindsets. But I hate it. I simply hate how much I still doubt the truth of it no matter how hard I try to deny. Believe it or not, some part of us still stubbornly wants to listen to others. Care for what they say more than our own words. I say this bcos.... same.

You are my only resource,

Everything I have is from what you gave,

How much I eat,

Doesn't depend on what I crave.

Have you ever been in a situation where you tried so hard to keep yourself tight on a budget while waiting for your next allowance, but the money just doesn't come? Well... I have. At first I felt bad for asking, so I kept it silent and endure it just a little longer. For awhile, I refused whenever my friends ask to hang out. I give all sorts of excuses just so that it doesn't seem like I couldn't afford but only bcos I didn't want to. I wish I didn't have to. 

Til when I know that if I didn't bring it up, this will just never get resolved. But when I called up to ask, it made me seem like a useless child to only call for money. I never used to phone call anyone. Unless it's for a reason, but the reason will always makes me seem like the thoughtless person. No matter how hard I think, it's my rights. Weekly allowances should only last me a week... no? 

I restrained,

I refrained,

This ain't longer about what I wanted,

My needs also felt like they're being affected,

I've been very considerate,

Even when no one ever do the same,

Is this really how things are gonna change?