I've always been different. And I've always known that.

People would tell me that I never seem to care about what others think. I've noticed that when puberty hits me... like having pimples all, what people say hardly comes at me. I've always been that person who takes things slow within my own pace. I don't do drastic changes. I have little to no care of the people around me (one of my concerns tbh). It's hard faking it when you really don't feel the slightest care for something. It's not that I didn't notice, it's that I don't care. I couldn't bring myself to care.

I don't care if you do things that won't concern me. And I don't wish everyone to be like me... but I kinda wish people weren't so busybody all the time. 

I let people go fairly easily. I never find myself too attached on anything. Not people, not idols, not items... they come and go so I've always anticipated it to disappear from  my life.

Actually penat tau when I don't want to care about smtg but people around me are constantly making me "worry" about it. Like if I wanna do smtg, I don't want to be asking permissions from friends. Telling them, yes. But getting approval is like a major friendship red light to me. Unless I ask you for it cos #indecisive.

I nak pergi concert, spend all my allowances on it... let me have my moments. I don't need a toxic person telling me I shouldn't. I don't force anyone to come with me. I don't menyusahkan orang by telling them at the last minute. I always plan early sbb I don't want people to think I am taking advantage on them. 

I don't get people who kecam others on this. I mean diff people value diff things. Like me, I don't care bout games, books or makeup like many people do, so I most likely won't be considering spending money on them as to me it is "membazir". But I'd pay more on things that I love like concerts and stationery. 

There was this one time, my younger brother bought a RM80 headphones. Before that, he would ask my dad to buy and he would use the RM10 ones from Gadget World. Then it would rosak not long after, and the cycle repeats lol. So when I saw him with his new expensive headphones, I questioned his decision. My elder brother did too. I told him that you can already get decent one if you only added RM10. Why would he spend so much when he can get a similar item that could be half times cheaper??

Then my mum said, "Biarlah dia nak beli headphone mahal pon. Duit dia. Dia tak persoalkan korg pon bila korg beli barang-barang mahal lain, kenapa korg nak persoalkan dia?".

That is all I needed to hear to drag me back to my senses. I didn't even ask him how long it took him to collect his money to afford that. It must've been hard bcos I was once I broke kid with lots of desire to buy unnecessary stuff too (still am!). But that's how we were taught to manage our own money.

I nak beli smtg that I like for someone else using my own money, let me be. I don't care if the person would like it or hate it. That's my least concern though kalau they suka, I would love them more lol. If I give someone a gift, most times I'll give you smtg I LOVE and that I wanna HAVE it for myself (stuff I don't usually have). So for someone to question my taste, what would you know.

Off-topic sikit.

Lately, I've been liking dusty pink. Don't get me wrong, my all time fav is still blue. But maybe bcos it has the slightly feminine feel to it and looks aesthetically pleasing. So I bought a new phone case... something I have been needing. My old case already had battlescars. 

So the new one is the 'rose gold' kinda pink. Actually kan, I lowkey liked the colour (and the tough design) but since pink wouldn't suit me I've always stayed away from it. The reason I bought this was only bcos it was selling for RM20 and I needed a new one. So hard to find a phone cover for my phone's model haih.

Dropping by,

Melynn.