Back then, I had a trauma with... interview. 

It's a silly trauma but it's one thing to take note.

Back in 2010 (I think), I wanted to go to a boarding school so badly. My only aim was to "run away from home" because I hated living with my naggy mum. And my mum also encourages me to go to MRSM and I thought that'll be great. I didn't know where to apply and why should I, other than the fact that I wanted to escape. Like that was my only goal.

I got an interview at MRSM Pekan, Pahang. My whole family went there like it was a short vacay. I on the other hand, couldn't sleep all night because I didn't know what to say for the interview. I was worried that I couldn't get in and lose the chance to run away.

Now that I think about it, that must've been the reason why I failed.

I remember the day so well. It was bloody hot and after registering, I was separated from my family to wait at the quarantine room. They had to go to the hall for a briefing. I think I felt really awkward that I didn't even start any conversation with anyone.

When my turn came for the interview, I was seated in front of 2 interviewers. I brought a whole file of certs and put it on the table. I think the thickness of my file would've scared them. It was filled with unnecessary stuff to say the least. The interviewer flipped the first time and ask about the cert. It was a pencapaian cert for koko I think. He asked what I did while I was in that position. At that time, I had to speak in Malay.

But the thing was, aku tak buat apa selama pegang jawatan tu pun. Time tu main tumpang nama je. So what am I supposed to say? I think I had a lot of certs because I joined a lot of events and had a few jawatan here and there, but I didn't know how to elaborate them as it seems very trivial to me. Sekolah rendah kan what do you expect? In the end, I flipped to show a cert for a program I actually had an idea to talk about - standard 6 camp. This is by far my BEST camp experience ever, even until today it still is! 

Even so, I was pretty much quiet during the interview not knowing what to say and even when I do speak, things just came out like a blabber. Once I left, I told my mum how I wish to never sit for an interview ever again in my life. I hated the fact I find it so hard to explain what I've accomplished and put it into structured words. I hated the whole experience.

More to that is the fact that my dad drove all the way to Pahang just to send me for an interview I wasn't even close to getting accepted for. What a shame. 

But 2 days ago, I had to sit for a mock interview to apply for a job. It's part of our English assessment. My friend considered me to be the best among the 5 of us who entered together. When she said that, I remembered how I hated doing interview before but now I have almost no trouble making up something on the spot (with the help of beforehand practice ofc). It felt somewhat like an achievement. Informally, I had a handful of experience and tbh, interviews aren't that bad. It's just like small chat - about you and them. Do some research and some idea on what should you say to suit their needs, then you're good to go. The 'wh' and how rule comes very handy at times like this.

If I have the chance to tell my 12 year-old self, I'd tell her to talk a little more about yourself and to sound a little proud of why you did what you did. Maybe the confidence will take you further.


Dropping by,
Melynn.