Since it's been awhile since I blogged, I actually have SO MANY THINGS TO STORY. But it's pretty hard reliving the moments after all the feels had vanished. Anyway, I'll just cover what has been surrounding the major part of my mind right now to make up for the unsaid things.

JAKSIS

I explained about my first interview about it on a blog post before. Click here if you wanna know how it went.

Roughly, JAKSIS is a student body or an organsiation based for students of the residential area in UTeM. It's an abbreviation for Jawatankuasa Kolej Kediaman Siswa/Siswi. I was still club-less so I figured, I NEED to be active in something and coincidentally JAKSIS came about.

After my first interview, my confidence level skyrocketed so high up that I knew I was gonna pass the next interview as well. 2 days passed and the second interview took place. It was on Thursday. Now before any further explanation, let me explain how my Thursdays are scheduled like;


Morning til evening, I have 8 hours of class consisting of 1 lecture and 3 tutorial classes for a day. That means 2 hours of each class with 4 different lecturers for 4 different subjects and ONLY AN HOUR BREAK. Only bcos lunch exist. Bless lunch time! And prayer time!!

Last class was scheduled to end at 6pm. Rationally, class won't usually end on time. So by the time I performed Asar, walk back home and shower... It's night in the blink of an eye.


I barely had the time to rest after class that day, then I received a phone call reminding me about the interview soon after. Honestly, my energy was drained. Even before I went for the interview.

Later in the discussion room I found out, this second interview isn't one-to-one but instead it's a mass interview. They wanted to see the way we generate ideas, our capability of speaking as well as explaining those ideas but most importantly, who can survive and who will sink among the big crowd. I'll be frank, I was quiet most of the time. Probably bcos I just needed a rest. We were given problem statements and are asked to share our opinions. Throughout an hour or so, imagine me nodding to every ideas without uttering a single word.

I wasn't the only silent one though. Thank God.

Quick at his thought, the headmaster of Lestari residential area - who were conducting the discussion-like interview, requested those who haven't spoke or have been inactively participating to admit ourselves and stand up. Then, I stood up. He asked why haven't we been speaking. At that point, I was thoughtless. I had no idea of what kind of excuse to make up... so I sounded very simple and boring. I almost gave up on joining JAKSIS to be honest. The interview ended super late. It was probably 11pm or so, if I wasn't mistaken. ME DIED. MENTALLY.

That was the last interview and I knew I had no chance of being part of the exco. A senior of mine advised me earlier that if I were to end up as the lowest subordinate (a.k.a rakan exco), better not be at all. Bcos of the big workload and the little recognition is what she meant.

As time approaches for the results to be revealed at the end of that week, I have yet to receive any congratulatory messages. The answer was pretty clear then.

I went to the beach that weekend with a couple of seniors and friends. We spent the entire evening there til night fall. However at around 7pm, a message was sent to the whatsapp group consisting of other applicants for JAKSIS. The message is from our headmaster and it goes something like;

"To those who haven't receive any personal message from me, please PM and give a little word of commitment to show your willingness and passion for JAKSIS"

I felt stuck in between. I didn't know whether I should respond to his callings or to ignore? Do I really want to be in or was it just a brief thought? Which is the better way out, or is there really a way out? Should I just admit that I gave up trying? Bcos at that time, giving up seems to be the best way out.

However, I thought of respect and some sense of guilt follows. The wrong feeling of trying to cut ties especially when I had a good intention for the approach in the first place. I felt bad. It took me one whole hour before deciding to send him my words of commitment which looks like a short essay of what I'd say 'ayat berlapik'. I didn't know whether I was trying to push myself to be or not be part of the exco through that kind of message lol.

Later towards midnight, I received a message from my headmaster saying I GOT IT! I AM NOW PART OF THE 27 EXCOS!!! I got what I wanted. It wasn't even that challenging though. What made him choose me though? What qualifications did I even show? It was a shocker. It was both expected and unexpected. Expected bcos my first interview went great, but unexpected bcos it went downhill and I've been slacking.

So yeahh despite the unworthiness, I've became part of JAKSIS! Here's to more overloading workload. I secured myself as the VICE SECRETARY... bcos I love to write reports and I trust myself that I can write better. Ha ha ha ye la sangat.

Anyway that's all for now. I wanted to write more about the bonding program that were held and how much I feel belonged or how the people are so fun to be around with and whatnot. But it'll just be draggier than it already is, so I shall save that for later :D

For now, here's a pic of us (missing 2 out of the 27 people)...