Transition
Ever since high school, university has been a whole new journey of transitioning. The difference is obvious by the kind of people I've met. In Sri Aman, a lot of people were from the same circle as me. It didn't felt as bizarre.
*Sri Aman refers to SMK(P) Sri Aman which is an all-girls high school in Petaling Jaya, Selangor that I went to
There have been all kinds of people and bcos Sri Aman is basically how I lived my whole teen life, I shall put that as a reference on most of the things here.
The number one most expected-yet-still-shocking thing is the communication barrier. Ok, this needs some clarification. Obviously being Malaysian, not everyone speaks English. Basic English are also a struggle to most, I understand.
I realised no matter how close I am to anyone, the fact that either we can instantly click or not depends on the way you and I talk. Finding someone at the same level of thinking (and speaking) as you is what makes it hard for me. The moment I met someone who speaks as fluent or as par as I am is the most exciting thing ever. That means I can easily communicate without feeling bad for looking as if I'm tryna 'show off'. Also, exam-oriented stuff like MUET is NOT a good standard measure.
Stereotypically in Malaysia, tukang mengutok RAMAI... So this is what I'm tryna tell. Being budak Melayu, nobody wants to get out of that comfort zone we put ourselves in. Why? Bcos everyone else ain't even budging. We all prefer sitting at the back and watch. This is very obvious in university. Especially among diploma students. Diploma students are very much the same as high school. Everyone is in the blur innocent stage of adulthood. People choose to simply do what majority does.
We are too scared of getting bashed (or judged). You know those reactions people give when someone is trying to be different or original, it's insulting. Coming as someone who disliked being shadowed, I find things uneasy at times. I realised that it's the effort of getting known and standing out from the crowd that makes one valuable than the other. No superior prefers the quiet and reserved kid. Think about it. Yet I still struggle with that anxiety and self-debating whether to ask or not to ask, every single time.
Usually in Sri Aman I don't bother voicing out in class bcos everyone else is already doing it. I didn't thought it'll make things any better if I joined in. So, I didn't. Hahah alasan je tu. But now that I see things here. It's bad. It looked as if lecturers need to beg for feedback bcos everyone is being so... passive. That's not how classes supposed to work. It's a give and take, but why are most people only taking?
The number two most shocking thing is... my own weirdness. It's funny how I seem to only figure myself bit by bit once I get involve with a different group of people. For example, when I was working as a barista. I was the cashier but I was also the baker. I didn't only do one work, as you can tell. We multi-tasked.
I found out then, that my memory can be very short-termed. This means when I am in the middle of doing something and my manager or anyone, really, tells me to do another thing then piles it up with a couple more of things-to-do. I'd only remember the last few things. Even when I'm being reminded.
Like when I'm doing the coffee then somebody tells me
"Nanti lepas dah buat kopi, tolong ambikkan pisau kat belakang (dapur)", instructed A.
"Amelynn, later make sure you display the cookies tau", said B.
"Basahkan kain lap tu skali", added A.
Using common sense, since there's 2 things I need to do at the kitchen - get the knife AND damp the rags - people would do it in one go, right? But somehow, I will only ended up doing what relates and forget the in-between task like to display the cookies...
Or, can be that I'm just biased. /nobigdeal
Anyway, now that I'm in uni. Besides the obvious fact that I speak rojak (or Manglish), I am also seen as... weird? Whut?
Since no one ever told me about how they perceive me before this, I being the jakun one screenshotted some proof lol.
GUY 1: The Rival
He has been so awed with my English. I'm not trying to be so full over myself BUT LOOK!!
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| He was there in my English class during the previous sem. |
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| Believe me, he's the rival of his own self. |
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| British man la... English man la.... Ooookayyy bro. |
GUY 2: The Weirder One
GUY 3: Mr. Observant Nak Mati
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| I told him I was from a girls' school then he told me no wonder I'm like this. So I asked him, HOW COME?? |
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| The first time we noticed each other in class and he couldn't be any more direct about it -_-" |
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| I interpreted his love life... Lol idk I simply assumed :D |
You wanna know the 3rd guy's story?
Meh I share sikit.
So one of my now-exhousemate told me a looong time ago there was this guy who drew a sketch of her. I was like "Oh ok cool" at that time. I wouldn't know who he was even if she told me so I didn't bother to know. I did know that guy is the same class as my housemate. Note that we are all in the same faculty as diploma students. Just different classes at that time.
Fast forward to my last day of class before Raya Haji, there was this guy who was sitting at the next table on my right. We had a tutorial class in the computer lab. Since we were at the last row, basically all of us could barely see the display screen in front. That guy next to me was raising up his hand telling the lecturer he couldn't see. I snapped at him and was like "Ada dalam buku la. Page bla bla bla" and then we continued our own business. Until my friend who were next to me didn't know how to do certain things, approached him to ask. Ok, at this point he is seemed to be someone who is very active in class. My lecturer had to went up to him a couple of times since he had sooo many questions to ask. Other than that, I didn't bother much about him.
That night, my friend was going thru our class whatsapp group and she found out that the guy in class jn uses 'Stark' as a display name. We both noticed he's quiet active on wa so I was like "Oh dia ke Stark".
But that wasn't it! His status was a REAL shocker. His status was... my ex-housemate's name. It literally wrote YUMI. My friend and I both flipped out. WHAT IS THIS THAT WE MISSED OUT?!
Since we are no longer housemates, we met that night coincidentally. Yumi was heading back to her room while my roomie and I were on our way to the cafeteria for dinner. That was the time it hit me that the person who sketched her last time and the person who put her name up as his status COULD BE THE SAME GUY!! It was an assumption but it was like hitting a jackpot.
After my dinner, Yumi barged into my room. She was asking what I wanted to know. I asked all sort of related things I was wondering like the obvs one - their relationship. She only told me how he initially just wanted to take a pic with her this one time when they barely know each other. Aaand that's it. Not very informative, huh?
I thought "Ok la she taknak bagitahu isokay" and forgot about it by the next night. Yumi and him is no longer classmates though.
But then, the next night I received a message in the class whatsapp from my Academic Advisor (PA) about smtg I personally wanted her to find out for me. Bcos I was the one who wanted to know, it's a courtesy to say thank you and so I did. In the whatsapp. Where all my classmates can see. P/s: I NEVER voice out in wa groups unless if I'm needed to.
Later, the next message is from Stark saying "Eh ehh Amelynn" so I replied with "Eh ehh Arif". I found out his name legitly the night Yumi barged in aka the night before lol.
Then BAM! True shit began. He PM-ed me. Wanting to know what I knew. Turns out Yumi spilled everything that happened to her that night to him. I didn't blame her since we did involved him in our talk. He only asked but he didn't wanna clarify. I was only assuming stuff but he was so sure I know more that what I assumed. WHICH I DIDN'T!
While I was interrogated by him, I seek for Yumi's help at that same time. Then I found out smtg else.
I noticed this. Yumi's dp and his was THIS similar. Funny thing is they both denied.
Guys, I'm not that dumb. We all know it meant smtg.
First, I found out he ((creepily)) drew her. Second, he has her name as his status. And now... their dp matches. Bingo!
This is the story of how I kantoi this two people. I have yet to know the real truth bcos both of them kept on beating around the bush.
Well, I'll find out about it sooner or later no worries. The world spins right? I'll eventually get there. MUAHAHAHA /wahaha
There ya go. The story of my current life. Hope my way of storytelling isn't so draggy ha ha ha. Feel free to follow my blog for any other lame stories like this /bye
Dropping by,
Melynn.
4 comments
Panjangnyaaaaaa. Hahahahahah 😂😛
ReplyDeleteToo many isi hati to luahkan la hahahah
Deleteyour blog is so inspiring emelyn ��good job later i want u to teach me how to talk influently in english. ilofayou ❤����
ReplyDeleteInspiring? Banyak complain je I tgk hahaha. Oh can can, fluent english starts with frequency. The frequent you speak, the better you'll get. Chaiyok! Ilofayoutoo Yana oii :*
DeleteYour thoughts are much appreciated! TQ.