Never have I ever thought that memorising anything can be so hard. And believe it or not, most times our intelligent is measured based on how much we remember things. The more you memorise for an exam, the higher your score gets. The better you memorise, the further you get in academic-based competitions.

It made me think how unfair it would've been for someone who couldn't memorise things well. For me, even though I'm like a Dory, it would roughly take me a week to memorise something by heart. But I'm not complaining cos someone else may even take longer (I hope lol).

Memorising may take a minimum of 2 days and a maximum of 7, if I repeat it everyday. But what is worse is how much my energy is drained after doing so. Memorising a script takes way more energy than it seems. For someone who always make sure to say things exactly as it is in the script, it gets more frustrating.

Also the fact that moving on to doing other activity is so hard once you get yourself to memorise something bcos you would barely have energy left. Brain power is really everything.

But that moment when you finally get over it and went through the entire script, it really feels like the best achievement ever. Because only then will you be able to pour your soul and emotion into what you are saying. Which also makes me think, making your own script is really the best way for you to memorise better.

How you write is how you usually would say. Rewriting a story yourself is like putting your own voice into the story even though it had been repeatedly told. If you think about it, you kinda get your own freedom if you write what you say. At the end of the day, when you are delivering your message, no one will know the things you didn't say. What you give is what they get. Frustrating, maybe but a tiny flaw won't ruin an entire speech.

I guess this is why I can't be an actress. Besides the fact, I have bad skin condition and won't pass any casting anyway. I envy how actors and actresses do this daily as their job. Memorising seems like a small part of the whole acting, but it's really not the easiest. If it is, life would be too fair.

Nevertheless, memorising things and performing it really brings satisfaction. I guess that's why I keep doing it even though it hurts. Pain is temporary, they say. The outcome however is like a blessing in disguise.