This post will just be about my thoughts and roughly my plan for the future.

Recently after my finals ended, I've been doing a lot of thinking and debating with myself. Like the things that I'm doing, the things that I say I'd do but never did, the things I wish I could do instead, and stuff like that. I noticed now that I don't enjoy the fun fun things much (Malays call it 'benda lagha'). I still like watching kdramas, listening to kpop, watching funny youtube vlogs but it's not as much as I did. I legit feel like I've somewhat grown lol.

The thing is I feel like I should be doing something but I don't know what. It's been a long time finding the thing that I am good at. My interest and my passion. Something I would enjoy doing that won't take too much of my time. Because I'm afraid of doing something then in the end I'll lose interest. I don't want that. I wanna go all out. I wanna try my best so that I won't regret, cos I tried. 

Funny, but I know that I'm not alone when talking about this. With so many successful kids out there, we can relate the pressure to rush.

Among all the things that I enjoy watching right now (which mostly are self-motivational vids), I kinda learn a lot of wise things that wake my lazy bum up. To not delay things anymore and to chase my dreams while I am young and have a long journey ahead. I wanna try and gain as much experience and skills that I can before I graduate my degree. That's the plan.

You know after ending my first year of diploma, I kinda wanna stop joining clubs and taking up positions. I just don't like how it interferes with my life last 2 semesters. I don't regret them, but it wasn't as fun as I thought. However, those vids kinda boost back my confidence and now I have a reason to. I may still not know what club but surely, time will tell. I'd rather be torn out now than have my resume empty with useless skills. At least that's what keeps me motivated.

So now, I've decided. I've created a new blog that dedicates to all my poems. I wanna see how much I can grow there. It doesn't have to be successful. I just feel like putting something up that I can be proud of in the future. That won't make me seem dull and incapable. The reason why it's not on this blog is because I like how personal it is here. Not many knows about my existence here and no one really read all my posts. But then again, they're really personal stuff so it's better that way.

My other blog is up on Wordpress (WP) and there's a reason why it's not on Blogger even when I've been a user since primary school. I see WP as a more professional and proper website to share with people. Rather than using Blogger which seems more like a child's play. And I learn that WP actually have better statistics count compared to Blogger and it track viewer counts more accurately which I like. But ofc, WP is a bit limited for free users and it's actually quite confusing to use. Fortunately so far, it still get things done so I'm ok. 

Check out my poetry blog here.

Plus, I also made use of my hand lettering as the featured image for each post. I just started it and I thought it'll be better to include images in my blog that I can create on my own. So this idea came along to combine those two things, thus the name. I probably suck so bad but at least I made the effort.

I actually plan on making videos on my poetry and make a channel for it, but I'm just not ready yet... in the future insyaAllah. For now, I probably will consider making podcasts for spoken word poetry and definitely will share it when that happens. 

Last but not least, I also created a Facebook Page dedicated to my poetry YAYYY!! It's called 'Poetry Lettering', you can search it up or just click here. I plan on posting all my updates there along with new posts on my blog so 'like' it and wait for more of my crappy poetry. And I know many don't use fb anymore bcos there's other fun social platforms, BUT I figured I need a place for people who solely are interested in my work in the first place and where I can link to my blog easily. Tbh I wanna keep it lowkey, that's why I don't prefer sharing on my personal Instagram account. I did once, but I don't think I should do it frequently.

And so far, I like what I'm doing. There's more to learn and to improve and I can slowly do that. I'm just gonna show a whole lot of progress happening. That's why this started. It's all about the process, not success.

Dropping by,

Melynn.