Refusing to share, hiding all possible trace of things I never wanted to declare,

It's as if a bubble were to surround me and you're just a pin piercing through it,

A poke or two may still be bearable because deep within I am not as thin as the onion skin,

A barrier in between to ensure we're on our own separate seats,

On this road along the paths we chose accordingly, 

Tell me is it so weird to keep my side of life in privacy?

But honestly, there's more to it than such an excuse,

You can never understand, and I know you just won't,

I could assume from the 'interested' look you give when a part of me was shown, 

You gave me something less than what I need,

But now as I explore more of the unheard cries within, you're just not right for me,

You're not a reliever but a burden I dread to bring upon to make me sound a little sane,

I notice when I say and show, that it doesn't give me the sense I felt before,

It's harder than it seems, and I am just not faking these bits,

The feeling tires me down, not making me feel any better than it supposed to sound.

Opening up is already a matter of time and effort, a lot of thoughts are also put into,
I welcome responses be it a better solution, or just show me that you'd really listen,

Instead what supposed to be simple and thoughtful, could ended being quiet offensive and hurtful,

Encouraging isn't sinful but dragging my worries is unnecessary to solidify your proof,
You brought back my rants, my cries, my messed up mind,

The past mistakes I made, were meant for personal reference,

To hear it out of you, left me to doubt my worth and holds me back from moving forward,
I tried but see these things didn't work,
It disappoints more than it satisfies, it breaks more than it heals,
So I opt for a silent ride a darker lonely path away from the heartbreak feels,
Now don't claim me as a loser or loner but understand I am feeling better,
I cried, I hide, I am satisfied and that's what really matter.

A poem I dedicate for my future spoken word poetry.


Dropping by,
Melynn.