In between start and end

Here's My Plan or "목표가 생겼다" (literally "I Found A Goal"), is a 4-episode MBC mini-series starring some of our small rising stars, Kim Hwan Hee and Kim Do Hoon. 

It was released pretty recently on May 19, 2021 and I'm surprised how little attention this drama got. Even I happen to found it by chance through another web drama.

I felt a bit burdened when people ask for my opinion. I appreciate if people think my input could be some sort of help but it always gets to me that the advice probably was a good advice for myself but not to the person I'm advising.

Being an opiniated person, putting myself in a selfless position when giving other people advice is hard. When I told others to have self-control when I am struggling with it myself. Or when I advised to avoid impulse purchase but later proceed to do so myself. Or when I said it's doable but proceed to fail doing it myself. 

I felt worse for giving those advice than to fail doing the thing itself. It's as if I declared to people that I'm prone to be successful doing it, when in reality, there's so many variables to consider as well.

Sometimes I hardly remember the failures I had bcos it was never considered as failures. I only see the progresses and aim higher thinking there's never anything to lose. Then when someone came to me and ask me how did I do it, I... don't quite know. I can't recall how much I struggled achieving it and thus, I don't have an answer to that.

That is why I probably suck at teaching and explaining. Even in my current intern job, whenever I solve the issue and move on to a new one, I always almost never remember how I managed to solve it. All I remember is how complicated it was and how long it took me to figure out one small fix. So when my team leader asked me, what exactly did the code do, I will always freeze in silence. It's not that I didn't know because duh, I fixed it. But it's just that it was hard for me to explain because the whole process is so complicated in my head.

I tried to be quick on my feet for a simplified explanation but often times ended up with my team leader just reading line by line of code himself.

I guess that's how it is in life too. When there's so many variables to consider and an advice isn't just a lengthy yes or no, but instead an entire lifestyle to put into picture, things will probably be easier to show than explained.

Like self-control isn't only about avoiding instant gratification and opting for delayed gratification, but it should be about finding out why does it have to be later and not now.

When I wanted to buy a PENTAGON lightstick while I was in Korea and even had that in the top of my wishlist. I found out that it was out of stock in all the kpop stores there so the planned purchase didn't happen. When I went to their concert in 2019 without a lightstick, I thought I might as well buy it some other time as there wasn't a reason to buy it in the nearest future.

You can tell I've been eyeing it for a long time since. Even the Shopee store that I wanted to buy from later not only marked up the price after a couple of months, but they also turned into an official store recently. Which means that from not being able to use the Shopee coins, to now being able to save more using them. Despite not having a budget for it, I immediately bought it during Shopee's 6.6 opening sale because of how good the deal was. I thought it was an impulse purchase at first, but then I realized how much I've been waiting for a good reason to buy and I guess, the right time just happen.

To me, that was how my self-control looks like. It's not something you would want to hear when asking for an opinion whether or not you should buy something, right?

But even so, there's no obligation for you to take the advice. We're too different to have a one answer fits all. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no external validation should be more defining than your own opinion. At the end of the day, the best choice is the choice you made for yourself.

Dropping by,