Yesterday, I hanged out with my uni friends and it had been so long since we met that we straight talked about how internship has been for us. To think that we are already on our own separate path instead of just separate classes is such a weird feeling. Reminded me of how strange it felt when my high school friends are doing totally different things after graduating high school. Technically, I did spend an entire 5 years with these friends since my diploma, like it did with my high school friends, so the feelings were very deja-vu to me.

What was more amusing is that, we took different courses in degree but we somehow ended up interning in the same job position. My internship is literally the exact one for my course. Therefore, my other 2 friends, ended up in the same position bcos unlike me, their skillset really suit this job as a developer. Previously, these friends of mine represented my university for a software competition so everybody around us knew that they really would suit developer jobs despite their respective courses. Which really makes me feel like I don't belong due to my lack of skills, but at the same time I'm really grateful as this is like a dream job of mine and I didn't had to try as hard as them to get it.

One common thing about us is that we enjoy learning about coding and have somewhat complicated logical thinking, which makes this job very fun for us. And I really like how all of us can relate with the job that we're doing although our company's software structure are very different from one another. 

IT is a really interesting subject bcos you can never really know too much. There's always different kinds of frameworks and software and practices that you have never even heard of before. There's so much experimenting and new ways to do stuff, which both scares but excites me at the same time.

My friends and I have very different style and approach to our working life. For example, I'm mostly working from home and so far it has been fine for me. I think I've learnt to adapt and structure my life around it ever since online classes. My recent semester's results have definitely convinced me that I can manage. The diploma internship that I had was also enough for me to feel how working in office should feel like so I don't really crave much for it.

However, my friends have yet to experience working at an actual company because previously their internship were only within university settings, so this is a totally new experience for them and they like it more working in the office. There are still lots of setbacks from all of our experiences like having half of the team working in the office and another half at home, or having no team and just one superior, or having difficulty in getting enough guidance bcos everything is done virtually. I think there's gonna be some gain and some loss anywhere you ended up in.

The thing that makes me so glad is how I'm happy despite how confusing things are and I get to challenge myself while doing a job that I'm so scared of. I also really appreciate my team leader bcos despite having so many meetings and calls, he still took the time to teach me the little things and spend time answering personal calls bcos I'm just always lost and confuse with how things work - coding or not. I think having a helpful leader is important to ensure this online thing works well and I can tell from first hand experience that people who guide you well are the one who would give better result to your growth, given you allow yourself to be guided. 

It's better to be the stupid one who don't know what to ask because you don't know almost anything yet willing to learn, than act smart when you are just as clueless, bcos at least you're opening more eyes to different ways of thinking and approaching things. The more experienced you are, the more you don't realize how newbies sees things so people tend to assume they'll understand it all. But it's your job to let these experienced people know that you don't understand and ask for extra guidance bcos being quiet isn't what's gonna make you grow but being uncomfortable is. Although I always felt uncomfortable to disturb my team leader over petty things these past 3 weeks, I also know that he needs to know where I'm at to help me, so raising my concern becomes my responsibility in determining my own growth.

It's always faster to ask help than dwell on the problem longer than you should. A lecturer of mine used to tell me, "If you dwell on the question for more than 5 minutes, you are in a big trouble". I used to think that it was so stupid to just give myself 5 minutes to have things figured out especially when they're unfamiliar, but if I take that advice with a grain of salt, it does make sense. I shouldn't dwell too much alone bcos asking for help will not only solve it faster but there might also be things you misunderstood earlier and would never realize that unless you speak up. I think that's what makes asking questions a great piece of advice.

Tips to be less scared when asking question: Everybody starts with not knowing everything. It's okay to be at the start.

Dropping by,